Caught Between Worlds
11th Entry James
It has been an eventful few days, the crazies showed where they stand, once again, and it wasn’t that surprising. Even with two significant tasks to work through, I happened to look back over my older journal entries. The question that came to mind was whatever happened to searching for the crazy old lady, previously of the woods? The answer was obvious enough once I started thinking about it, the clan started seeing dollar signs for a moderate amount of work and they completely forgot about charitable work and old ladies in need. I believe this leads us to the most obvious answer to the age old question, if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Answer: I don’t know how much are you going to pay me to find out?
As we are working our way through the variety of work that needs to be done, we came across someone who wanted to join the clan. Apparently people like touching strange objects in this world, or maybe they like odd tingling sensations. So the new guy Capt. Crunk, wow, what can be said about his err, umm, well, character? Basically he’s a big guy with a big hammer and he hits things with it. The hammer is now on my list of things to strategically avoid while it is moving. In brief, CC is whack-a-mole redefined.
So we go about working more jobs, first up we need to defend a bridge from an imminent attack. The city (Transportation Facilitators, Guild 78) guards one side of the bridge and the kingdom at large controls the far side of the bridge. I really don’t know how supply lines work in this economy; the cost to the consumer must be out of hand. So the kingdom side pulled out which is an obvious sign that something is going to happen just look at all the revenue they would be losing. I’m following our employer’s logic but I think something is missing.
The night the battle begins, ninjas crawling around through the under work of the bridge. I now understand how trolls can live under bridges. The clanners who aren’t wearing armor begin climbing down to take on the ninjas face to face. Normally I would scoff at the idea, everyone knows that in a B movie plot the ninjas can’t be defeated in hand to hand, but the first several arrows fired at them were caught and snapped like twigs. That is a silly analogy as arrows are little more than twigs anyway, but… moving on.
As Stoner and CC engaged the ninjas, Snap also made his move down the bridge. The ninjas were hastily attaching something to the bridge that looked bomb like. Snap was very interested in these things. Ever since that odd mutated thing in the sewer, which I killed in one blow, Snap has been is in love with explosives, I think that rules out the stealth road. Some of the group would be worried if they knew just how far Snap love of explosives went, though some would be envious.
Finally a threat marches into view on top of the bridge, nicely in line for my first full charge. Capitalism and I have been practicing; I have grown to enjoy the rush of wind and immense power hurtling at one lonely insignificant target… Eh hem, right so four creatures come marching into view. What armament to they have you ask? Well I’m glad you asked because THEY HAVE GUNS? Yeah seriously, guns like, “What’s the other half? Guns dude!” guns, like trigger pull, flash, bang, ouch, GUNS. Fortunately they have the aim of Hollywood extras so there wasn’t much effect and the point of my lance struck home leaving an impressive wound.
As I wheeled around and move away to charge again I was made aware there was another threat imposing on the group. Apparently there was a large flying half dragon that spits acid… Cause fire is over done… When I say half dragon I simply mean vaguely bipedal with wings and a T-rex head, what I should call it is three quarters dragon because this thing was significantly larger than the other “half-dragons” walking around town. Oh and of course it had managed to fly in behind us and zero in on the baseball goth. Fortunately I was just close enough spur Capitalism into another full sprint pointed right at the ghastly creatures exposed flank. My lance dug in deep and I could feel its flesh give way and its bone crack. It had very little left to strike back with when Capitalism himself delivered the final wound. Once again with one decisive strike our greatest foe was dispatched. *note to editor, tone keeps shifting suggest changing everything to the directly above dramatic and fantasy’esk dialog.
There was some more back and forth skirmishing but it was not important enough for me to involve myself. The ninjas disappeared, didn’t see that one coming did you, oh the puns. The bridge stayed mostly intact. The night came to a close and the city side defenders came to check up on us. They, in typical union fashion they tried to blame some ancillary damage on us thereby paying us less for the job. I was able to assist the group with some simple contract double speak, the kind I could do in my sleep, and these so called guildsmen bought the whole thing. Then it was off to town so the clan could collect the reward. Of course they cut me an equal share, even though they would have gotten less without my skills. My interest in joining the clan is simply non-existent now, not that it was ever present, rock touching freaks, but now it seems that this clan is turning into some sort of communist hippy commune for psychotic killers.
Next job, go over there, find out who is there, remove them, and come back, simple enough. I group seemed to key in on the removal part but that is not surprising any more. Surprisingly they actually adopted a stealth approach and did some actual recon of the area. This all turned out to be very useful for about 23 seconds before ROTC and CC did leaping battle cries followed by horrible bone crunching and sinew slicing sounds and finally the previously unaware guard’s screams.
From here the same old process ensued, we separated and began getting beat up by various elements of the lizard guys occupying the mine. Unlike previous times however there was not a random split in how the group moved which is a step forward. No this time we separated because we all seem to move at slightly different rates while involved in combat. Some people seem really anxious to get into battle, while personally I long a purposeful saunter. I feel it keeps the foe(s) off balance, I’m not rushed but I’m not holding back either.
As I’m not rushing over to a lizardy man who is point a gun thingy at me, the strangest thing happened… Don’t reflect on that sentence for too long. So the floor of the mine starts to twist and move, then well stood up. A large chunk of the floor stepped out of the err floor and began walking toward me in a menacing and frighteningly unhurried pace. I of course did the sensible thing and lifted my shield and began moving one step at a time back toward the group.
So I back around until I’m almost on top of the group and suddenly this giant thing disappears. I’m still confused about the whole thing, I really have no idea what happened. The timing was good though because another equally large thing walked in to threaten the group immediately after that. He/it was a large, ugly, depth perception impaired creature. This creature actually only had one large eye. Apparently no one ever told him that he was created in someone’s imagination after they saw an elephant skeleton. Even better this giant one eyed thing swung his equally giant axe forward and pointed it like a gun, and low and behold he fired it like a gun. While gun blades are largely just a work of fiction in the real world they, amongst other obviously fictitious things, are real hear and I can deal with that. The thing that bothers me here is that the giant one eyed biped was using a gun. What the @%$#!! How? Someone please explain that to me. I’m starting to wish I could defy every natural rule that I thought held things together.
Beyond the gun, it turns out this thing could really swing that axe. It also turns out that the large axe is mightier than the sword as ROTC got a taste of his own medicine and ended up laying in a pool of his own juices. Fortunately in this world you can recover from that so he’s fine now. Once again I came in when all seemed lost and toppled the creature. Same old story now, everything ends with death and looting.
Looting aside they discovered that something was hidden in the mine and like any group of humans they decided to get the hidden treasure and keep it for themselves. The Britt surprised me by creating the same thing, but to a smaller extent and had a small chunk of earth pop to life and then walk into the wall of the mine and come back out with the hidden treasure. It turned out to be a large ominous looking skull shaped gem, possibly diamond. One of the crazy hand waivers said something about it being a magic items like the few others we had found, my sword, a cloak, and some type of headband.
From here it got really interesting, as previously decided the group went down the list of loot picking and decided if they wanted any of the items or if they would pass. Tree girl picked the headband, there was some discussion around who would take the cloak as it was passed over by a couple of us.
Finally we got down the list to me and my choice was simple, the skull would suit me just fine. For some unknown reason the rest of the party did not like that idea. I talked them through the scenario, everything was up for picking, no caveats were ever listed to what items could or couldn’t be picked and it was my chance to pick. They simply refused, they never stated the high value as the cause but it was obvious to me that was their reason. We packed up and went back to town and my only other comment on the topic was to clarify that they understood that the only thing resembling a contract with me had been summarily ignored when the situation suited them.