5th Entry Jaxson

Real World Blues

I feel… hollow.

Standing in my bathroom I am leaning on the counter and staring into my own eyes in the mirror. I am trying to see the damage that I have done to myself, to my soul. I feel as if I have taken a part of myself, a very large part and had it cut off. My blue-gray eyes seem less blue, and more gray. Then again I could be kidding myself, seeing things that aren’t there. Trying to see an outside indication of something I feel on the inside.

Thinking back to earlier in the evening I turn the water on and begin to wash my face. It was hard keeping up appearances when I was with the others. I tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, and I think I may have managed to keep it from the others, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up.

My spontaneity is gone; my pure randomness seems to have slipped away. I feel as if I am plodding along, with the wonder having gone out of the world. The colors are less sharp and then sounds less clear…

Turning off the water I look back up into the mirror, and staring at myself I mutter, “I think the sparkle has gone out of our relationship, dear boy.”

Flipping the light off I head to bed.

5th Entry Jaxson

Caught Between Worlds Lord_Entropy