UM News Story - Zombie Walk Disrupted

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Halloween Zombie Walk Meets Real Resistance

November 1st
A zombie flash mob that appeared at dusk on Halloween ran into some trouble on the south end of campus where students in zombie costumes ran into a group who took them a bit too seriously, injuring three and scaring the life out of a number of the “undead” participants.

“We’ve done this zombie walk the last couple of years on campus,” said organizer Thad Orson. “It’s a fun time. We’ve even usually get some spontaneous ‘victims’ along the way. Or others who have seen movies like Zombieland and pretend to be zombie hunters. It’s all in good fun though.”

The walk started just before dusk on the 31st near the College of Engineering building. Like most flash mobs, everyone gathered very quickly and then “lurched” into gear.

“We headed back around the south end of campus. We wanted to stagger past that burned-out warehouse that they haven’t demoed yet,” said sophomore Sally Westfield. “I had friends that wanted to take some pictures who said that would make an awesome backdrop!”

This is where things suddenly got a bit too real. A group of individuals, dressed all in black and carrying what some described as “military gear” burst out of the burned-out front doors of Johnson Hall and charged the students.

“There were like five or six of them,” said Robert Paulson, a freshman who was excited to participate in his first flash mob. “This one huge guy with a baseball bat came screaming at us like some kind of psychopath! At first we thought they were just improvising, like Thad said they might. But then WHAM!! He creamed Joey across the chest like he was trying to hit a home run!”

Joseph Talvaria suffered four cracked ribs and massive bruising. Things became chaotic at this point.

“So this poor kid is moaning on the ground, everyone is yelling for them to stop,” said Sally, who was playing a mock victim. “One of the guys has a knife; the other is trying to stop my bleeding or something. This wild-eyed nutjob with the bat is holding it like it’s some sort of sword and waving it around. Suddenly this giant black SUV plows up the embankment and rams into the center of everyone!”

Two students suffered minor injuries as the crowd scrambled to get out of the runaway vehicle’s path. Angry students began to shout at their attackers as they all piled into the SUV and drove off at high speeds. Unfortunately, no one got the license number due to the dark and the fog that had settled into the cooling air.

The identities of the attackers are not known at this time, but campus security is investigating.
“That was pretty much the end of the walk, what with having to get folks to the ER,” said Orson. “It’s a bit disappointing that everything turned out that way.”

Robert Paulson had a slightly different view. “Are you kidding? It was like a movie! That was AWESOME!”

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UM News Story - Zombie Walk Disrupted

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